The "PM is CEO" Myth: Why Influence Beats Authority Every Time

The Most Dangerous Lie in Product

"The Product Manager is the CEO of the Product."

You’ve likely heard this phrase. It’s arguably the most famous quote in our industry (thanks, Ben Horowitz). It is also, in my experience, the most dangerous lie told to aspiring Product Managers.

Why? Because it sets you up for a collision with reality.

A CEO has a budget. A CEO decides who gets hired and who gets fired. A CEO, at the end of the day, has the final say because they hold the ultimate authority.

Us? We have post-its, ambiguous data, and—if we are lucky—the trust of our team.

The Authority Trap

In over 20 years in the tech market, I’ve learned that trying to act like the "boss" is the fastest way to failure.

If you ever find yourself saying, "Do this because I am the Product Manager," you have already lost the argument. You’ve signaled that you ran out of logic and had to resort to a badge that, frankly, doesn't carry the weight you think it does.

Engineers don't report to you. Designers don't report to you. Sales doesn't report to you. To succeed, you need something far more potent than hierarchy.

The Real Currency: Influence

The true currency of Product Management is Influence.

Influence isn't about being charismatic or loud. It’s about the ability to align disparate groups toward a common goal without having the power to force them.

1. With Engineering: It’s sitting down with your Tech Lead and genuinely understanding the technical debt accrued because of that feature you rushed out last quarter. It’s showing you care about the "how," not just the "when." (This requires continuous learning. I always encourage PMs to use tools like SkillFlux to build their own learning paths and understand the basics of their team's tech stack. You gain respect when you speak their language).

2. With Sales: It’s listening to their frustration about lost deals, not just dismissing them as "feature factories." It’s helping them sell what exists while validating what might exist next.

3. With Executives: It’s managing expectations without promising miracles. It’s bringing data to the table, not just opinions.

Moving from Opinion to Alignment

One of the hardest parts of influence is proving that your decision isn't arbitrary.

When stakeholders feel like you are just picking favorites, you lose trust. This is why I advocate so strongly for structured decision-making. When you walk into a meeting with a clear matrix—showing criteria, weights, and scores—you shift the conversation from "I think" to "The data suggests."

(This was the core driver behind Decisor.ai. I needed a way to show stakeholders: "I’m not saying no to your idea because I don't like it; the model shows it has high effort and low impact compared to these other initiatives.")